SitterTree Resources: Insights on Babysitting and Childcare

Just a few years ago I was a young mom with five little boys under 10. They were lively, loud, competitive, loving, and fun. My life was a mixture of noise and laughter and conflict and exhaustion. The holiday season became a time of emotional overload that was stressful, tiring, sad, and wonderful all at the same time. I looked forward to a break in the school routine, but before that could happen I (as a high school teacher) had to turn in the semester grades, attend basketball tournaments, shop for groceries, plan meals, and prepare for Christmas. 

One day it won’t be like this…will I miss it?

The season break also coincided with at least two hunting seasons, and this activity offered much camaraderie for my guys and their friends. By the end of a typical day, our house was a mélange of mud-caked hunting boots at the front door, footballs scattered on the lawn, strewn towels from half-washed hands, runny noses, occasional wet beds, and spontaneous hugs and kisses. It was usually punctuated with at least one major meltdown (mine) and ended with me collapsed on the couch in the midst of clutter at the end of the day. 

I always berated myself for not being more organized, for not shopping and planning ahead of time, for not considering the many people we knew who weren’t as blessed as we were and doing more to reach out to them. As hard as I tried to keep the spirit of the holiday season foremost in my mind, I felt like a colossal failure. I distinctly remember one Christmas Eve when one of our sons said to me as we were en route to his grandmother’s house, “Mom, you bust your can and you still don’t get everything done, do you?”

Will they always remember me as the grumpy, frazzled mother, “bustin’ her can” to get everything done?

Our sons all played together and enjoyed relationships the way brothers do, and we were as happy as any family I knew, but I always felt there was something I could do to make us more appreciative of each other and grateful for our blessings. I wondered how things would be when the boys were grown. Would there be any family values or special holiday traditions they carried forward when they had their own children? 

Fast forward 49 years…

Our family has grown from a tribe of seven to twenty-two (and counting).  When our three-generation clan comes together, some habits return. The brothers step back into their growing-up roles, only they handle them in a more gentlemanly fashion. Always looking for clues of my own failures as a mom and analyzing lessons learned from years of parenting them, I watch for any signs of unresolved conflict and indications of unhealed emotional bruises. I’m also on guard that new ones don’t occur—at least not on my watch.  I want harmony, cooperation, and I want everyone’s emotional tank to be full when we separate.

So what could we do that would make a difference?

This year, I conferred with our daughters-in-law (DILs) and came up with a plan: We’d do a service project as a family. We’d get the focus off ourselves and serve someone outside our family. The challenge was to think of something in which everyone could participate. We have eleven adults and eleven children (12 and younger), so our options were limited. We landed on the idea of making fleece blankets, the ones that are tied around the edges, and require no sewing. The stipulation was that everybody had to make one apiece in the same room together. The DILs did the prep work—buying the fabric and cutting strips around the edges, so when we got everyone together all we had to do was to tie two strips together around the blanket’s sides. Easy peesy.

Our family members didn’t hesitate. It seemed as if everyone was waiting for this kind of unity to take place. When I looked around our gathering room and saw the parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and children laughing, teasing each other, relatives helping little ones tie knots, and cooperating as a family should, I saw a beautiful picture of love, belonging and peace.

My heart was full, overflowing!

The next day, our DILs and girls went to a local recovery home for women and gave the residents the blankets—all twenty-two of them. The women couldn’t have been more appreciative and receptive. We lingered for quite a while interacting with them and being blessed. 

This year, everything wasn’t perfect.

We didn’t have the perfect holiday menu: we didn’t have turkey and dressing and we ate our family meal on Wednesday, not Thursday.

We didn’t have perfect order and calmness: we ended up with a broken lamp from playing basketball in the living room (the grownup sons, not the kids), several “spills” of various liquids, lost items, tired bodies, and one stomach bug.

But when the last goodbyes and I love yous and bless you with safe travels were said, my heart was at peace. Those difficult years of striving and serving and failing at times have morphed into a season of holiday reward. 

A note about the author:

Careen Strange is the author of Hello, Young Mothers, an honest and comical look at the realities of day-to-day motherhood. She and her husband, Burt, have been married 50 years, raised five sons, and are now grandparents to 11 grandchildren. To learn more about Careen and her work with young mothers, visit careenstrange.com.

Our ever-more sophisticated technologies and culture have led us to become highly dependent on visual stimulation to maintain our attention.

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We are very fortunate to live in a highly visual world.  Our senses are constantly stimulated and bombarded with visual input.  As a result, we have become largely dependent on this input to stimulate our attention.  Our children are products of this visual world, surrounded by televisions, game consoles, computers, DVDs and more.  Today, it is quite unusual for a child to sit and listen to a story without any additional stimulation or input.  However, this focus on visual stimulation can have a detrimental effect on children’s listening development – a vital classroom and general life skill.

So What?

Listening skills form the basis of listening comprehension, essential for the development of adequate literacy skills, and for generally coping with the academic demands of school. You can help to strengthen your child’s listening skills with the following activities:

• Telling stories without books or visual aids, and asking them to repeat back what they’ve heard.
• Providing and encouraging stage-appropriate audiobooks or listening to games.
• Playing games that require the child to repeat what they’ve heard from you or another player. 

A note about the author:

Dr. Randa Grob-Zakhary, MD Ph.D. is the Founder of The Babyboost Institute for Early Learning and Development. Want more tips?  Purchase Babyboost: 50 Critical Facts on Amazon.

Children are a great passion of mine! At the age of 14, I started working with children as a volunteer teacher’s assistant at a local church. Since then, I’ve observed, been inspired, and studied the way children act and behave. As a babysitter, on-call nanny, and childcare provider, it’s been a pleasure to experience the happy and not-so-happy times, alike, with the children in my care. I share my experience in hopes of helping other sitters become more confident, capable, and comfortable during their jobs.

The thought of using disciplinary action with children that are not your own can be daunting. In my experience, parents are grateful to have a sitter show concern when disagreement (whether between siblings or child and a sitter) should arise. I have found that starting with a little thoughtfulness on the sitter’s part can help both sides feel more at ease and comfortable withthe possibility of discipline.

1. Remember: There is Always a Reason Behind Negative Actions

One thing to keep in mind when you are sitter is that no babysitting gig is going to go 100% perfectly or as you expect it. Children are still learning how to express themselves in appropriate and safe ways. Keeping this in mind can help you understand how to approach or address a distressing situation.

2. Ask Parents for Their Experiences and Preferences

Ask questions such as: “Do you have a quiet space should Mark and Allison come to a moment of disagreement and need to play on their own?” or, “Do you have a preference or routine you would like me to enforce should we have a moment where we are upset?”  Asking questions like this will show parents you are working with them and want to enforce/support the rules of the home in their absence.

3. Show, You Are a Person, Too!

When a child is not expressing themselves in a positive manner, they respond best if an adult can speak calmly and with compassion. This approach shows children they can use their words calmly before saying or doing something negative.

For example, if little Susie is throwing a toy indoors and it could potentially knock over a lamp, a verbal warning such as, “Uh oh! Is this safe inside play? Or, is it better for us to play outside?” Sometimes, just getting them to stop and think helps. It makes them feel a sense of control and not threatened. However, if negative action continues, a sitter can then remind them of the “House Rules” made by mom and/or dad.

4. Follow Through With What You Say

If a sitter has to give a warning first, the words should be meaningful and make sense to the situation. For example, if two children are getting upset and fighting over the use of the video game controller, get their attention while suggesting potential other options. “Uh-oh. It seems you two are having a hard time sharing. Shall we take a break and choose a different game? Or, do you think you need time to cool off in the quiet room?” The children know their options and are now thinking a bit more clearly, reminded of the consequences of their actions.

When this does not work, a sitter can intervene and make a decision. In this case, putting the game console away may be best for the time being. It is always up to the sitter to decide if the toy or object can be brought back out later, perhaps after a brief discussion of how to handle it better the next time a disagreement takes place.

5. Communicate Casually Yet Meaningfully with Parents Later

When parents return home, the first question usually asked is, “How were the kids today?”  Sharing the positives is a great place to start, but don’t feel you only have to focus on the positives. Parents genuinely want to know how everything went. Sharing your insight on harder moments helps them with future sitters.

“Johnathan, Daniel, and I played a fun game of Uno and then drew airplanes together which lead to making paper ones, which was such fun! They also received their one hour of video game use, but part of this time was spent having a cool down after a disagreement on sharing the controller. However, they did a great job coming up with a solution and looking forward to playing again with a better sharing plan! They even wrote a sharing contract!”

Keeping a friendly and informative tone helps parents feel confident in your abilities to navigate conflict and provide appropriate discipline. Once again, the key is the willingness to communicate and being calm yet honest.

Above all, remain calm and positive. It is never easy to discipline children who aren’t your own, but with these tips you will be well prepared if a situation arises. Do you have any tricks for disciplining children while babysitting? Share with us in the comments!

A note about the author:

Jessica Broesche has been working with children for over fifteen years. Her passion led her to acquire her Early Childhood Education Degree in 2009. She currently works as a Teacher at “Little Aprons Academy” while furthering her education to receive her CDA Bachelor’s Degree. She’s worked with SitterTree since 2015, and loves EVERY minute of sitting for her 20+ Favorite Families!

Is your child a picky eater? Well, here’s some reassuring news for frustrated parents: you are not alone. Furthermore, a fear of new foods and a fear of new things in general often go hand-in-hand for many children.

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Most of us would be surprised to discover that research shows children often require 8-15 tries of a new food before accepting it! After 2-4 attempts, many frustrated parents simply stop trying.

It turns out that for many children their rejection of new foods is based on fear or anxiety of the new or unfamiliar. If this sounds all too familiar, don’t despair: you can help your child overcome their neophobia by recognizing their anxiety and implementing strategies to eliminate the ‘newness’ of foods.

So What?

Introducing a new food as a supporting figure rather than a lead character on the table may help in accepting new foods. Some parents set a rule that everyone must take a small serving of every dish on the table. If you fall into this category, offering a very small amount (1-2 spoonfuls) of new dishes can be less daunting than a regular serving. Another tip is to set a guiding principle, for example, where every one must try two out of three available dishes. In this way, new dishes can be slowly varied until they are one of the familiar dishes next to the new one. These strategies are simple, yet can have a dramatic impact on mealtime experiences. 

Similar approaches can be effective when introducing your child to other new activities or experiences.

Got a neophobe of your own?

Is your child generally hesitant to try new things? Slowly introducing them to new things can make a big difference in getting them to attempt new things, and in increasing their comfort levels while they do so. For example, if you’ve signed your child up for an activity group that you truly believe they will enjoy based on their age and skills, don’t let their anxiety stand in the way of benefitting from new experiences.

Steps you can take to make your child more comfortable:

• Talk about the upcoming event and the general activities that will take place.
• Be specific about the activity or sequence of events.
• Seeing other children doing the same activity can be useful. When possible or appropriate, watching internet video clips (for example, a swim class, sitting in a circle, playing at a daycare center, or toddler football matches) during your discussions might be an anxiety-free introduction to the activity.
• Visit the location before the first day to introduce the facility/area to your child, and even better, observe the actual activity together before your child has to engage in it.
• If the activity requires equipment or clothing unfamiliar to the child, allow them to test out some of these items at home in familiar and comfortable surroundings.

Taken together, these preparatory experiences aim to reduce the number of new things your child has to face on the first day and gives the child a greater sense of control over a potentially challenging situation.

A note about the author:

Dr. Randa Grob-Zakhary, MD Ph.D. is the Founder of The Babyboost Institute for Early Learning and Development. Want more tips?  Purchase Babyboost: 50 Critical Facts on Amazon.

Swaddling coaxes babies to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.

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Swaddling is a technique of wrapping a young baby in a blanket in such a way that the baby’s natural reflexes are suppressed. Midwives and lactation consultants have long advocated swaddling as a means of calming young babies, and now we know exactly why.

All babies are born with natural reflexes that can cause sudden jerky movements, which can wake your baby from sleep. Observations from nearly one thousand babies show that swaddled babies fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer than those not swaddled. The brain waves of swaddled babies tend to fall into a deep sleep pattern as a direct result of correct swaddling. It is thought that swaddling imitates the restrictive environment of the mother’s womb, therefore dampening the baby’s natural reflexes and helping your baby feel safe and secure. These natural reflexes normally disappear within the first year.

So What?

Though many parents have heard of swaddling, few realize just how much swaddling can help calm an over-stressed, over-tired baby, and help to create a peaceful sleeping or feeding environment. 

To be effective, swaddling is best introduced during the early weeks and should be discontinued at the first sign of your baby being able to turn over onto their tummy. Ask your midwife to demonstrate the technique for you, including variations where the hands are bundled up and cradling baby’s face, or if your child rejects the standard method, mummy-style with arms folded across the chest. Note that swaddled babies should never be placed prone (on their tummies) due to the risk of suffocation and/or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

A note about the author:

Dr. Randa Grob-Zakhary, MD Ph.D. is the Founder of The Babyboost Institute for Early Learning and Development. Want more tips?  Purchase Babyboost: 50 Critical Facts on Amazon.

The age listed on labels of toys and games is often a recommendation based on safety concerns, not developmental suitability.

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At present, there are simply no global guidelines in place for age recommendations listed on toys with the exception of rules regarding choking hazards for children under three years of age. Recommended-age guidelines, where they do exist, pertain mostly to safety and basically ensure that a child can use the toy in some way, saying little about the overall developmental appropriateness.

Relatively few toymakers are savvy when it comes to creating age-appropriate suggestions, and only a few major companies have in-house developmental specialists and/or develop toys in collaboration with a daycare or nursery center.

So What?

Though age recommendations can be helpful, each child is unique and develops at their own pace. Because many countries allow sellers to modify the age recommendation in a written description of the product, be skeptical of age recommendations, and compare the recommendation from a manufacturer with that of the seller. In some cases, the seller may have engaged a trusted specialist to reevaluate the manufacturer’s recommendation, but in many cases, age changes are simply an opportunity to increase sales.

Keep these considerations in mind before you buy, especially when purchasing online and relying on description without being able to see the product packaging. The best thing to do when purchasing toys is to consider the child’s stage before age: consider the maturity, skill level and interests of the child, read the age labels carefully and use them only as loose guidelines. 

A note about the author:

Dr. Randa Grob-Zakhary, MD Ph.D. is the Founder of The Babyboost Institute for Early Learning and Development. Want more tips?  Purchase Babyboost: 50 Critical Facts on Amazon.

Something special happens every fall at SitterTree. There is an air of excitement, possibility, anticipation which builds in the weeks leading up to September. And, then it happens.

Each September, SitterTree welcomes our newest cohort interns into our Campus Coordinator Program. Campus Coordinators are top-ranked sitters who demonstrate the determination, enthusiasm, and professionalism to lead their peers. They are the best of the best.

“I can’t wait to see the faces of our new coordinators each year.  It’s exciting to know the program will have a lasting impact on their personal and professional lives.”

Sarabeth Jackson, Sitter Coordinator

SitterTree recently started our fourth cohort of Campus Coordinators. Sitters from Oglethorpe University, Emory University, Clark Atlanta University, Georgia State University, and Kennesaw University joined our team to begin the eight-month paid internship program.

Campus Coordinators receive monthly training, weekly coaching and daily opportunities to practice valuable 21st Century job skills.  They are responsible to manage a community of up to 100 peer sitters, offering tips for earning a 5-star rating at every job as well as providing care and support for each member of their community.

“Being a Campus Coordinator put me ahead of my peers and gave me a safe space to learn.”

Mallory Hall, Past Campus Coordinator, Kennesaw State University

The Campus Coordinator Program is a highly competitive program.  Cumulatively, this year’s cohort has completed more than 600 sitting jobs with more than 120 families selecting them as Favorite sitters.  Again, they are the best of the best.

“The Campus Coordinator Program is, without a doubt, what sets SitterTree apart from other babysitting apps.  It represents our commitment not only to quality, but also to genuinely caring for each member of our community”

Jody Stephenson, Founder

Join us in welcoming the 2019 Campus Coordinators!

In alphabetical order: Avery Dobbs, Khadijah Grier, Danielle Hardin, Lauren Kirby, and Paula Manrique

Interested in joining SitterTree’s team?  See what it takes to be a Campus Coordinator!

Mission: To grow and strengthen the professional skills of our top sitters through an 8-month internship program teaching goal-setting and achieving, teamwork, effective communication, time management, and leading with vulnerability.

When I was a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) with five little boys, I yearned for an older woman to talk to—someone who had walked the path ahead of me. I had a close relationship with both my mother and mother-in-law, but sometimes I needed a neutral voice to speak to my concerns. My husband and I were only children, so the chaos of rearing five children under age 10 was new to them as well as to me.

I never did find that perfect mentor. I read a few books which proved to be very helpful and opened my eyes to some things but for the most part, my learning resulted from on-the-job-training.

Women today have a plethora of resources, but mothers often experience a feeling of aloneness. It doesn’t simply go away by reading a blog or listening to a podcast.  What moms need is another woman who has walked the path to come alongside them and be their needed coach/encourager. 

So the question is, how does a young mother find that elusive older woman?

Sometimes it seems hard to connect with the right person, especially if you’re living in a new area. Where do you look? How do you start a relationship, especially when you might not know a ton of people? These suggestions might help.

Find a Mothers’ Group in your area.

Organizations such as Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPs) have been in existence for a number of years, and are a wonderful place to meet other mothers. In my own MOPs group, there is more emphasis lately on finding older women to connect as mentors with younger moms. In the first meeting of our local chapter, there were several older moms who were there for that purpose!

Begin with the obvious: Find someone you like.

We are naturally drawn to certain temperaments and personalities. Find a person you look forward to being with.

Make sure her family life is one you’d like to emulate.

Does her relationship with her family members exemplify love, honor, respect—in short, do you want to be where she is when you reach her age?

Seek someone who has had real-life experience.

Naturally, moms seek answers and validation from other mothers. The problem is, they are usually in the same season of life, and this can result in comparing themselves to one another. Sharing “mom-hacks” and other tips might be good, but hearing from someone who has proven herself in real life is essential.

Find a mother who will be honest with you.

You’re not looking for someone who simply commiserates with you. You want someone who is willing to point out blind spots for you and is willing to speak the truth in love. Allow her to do that.

Don’t hesitate to ask her to meet with you.

In the old days, young women probably bonded with the older generation as they stitched quilts or shelled peas. Motherhood is inherently lonely—a fact a woman doesn’t realize until she becomes a mother. Ironically, when our children grow up and leave the nest, a different kind of loneliness can set in.  Connecting women in these two seasons can be life-giving for both generations.

Realize you might meet a need for her, as well.

To reiterate the previous point: sometimes a “retired” mother might feel she has served, worked, loved, and sacrificed all those years and is full of good advice, but nobody cares. You might do her a great favor by asking her to share her wisdom with you.

Enjoy the relationship!

It will likely last for years to come. Next, to rearing my own family, my personal experience as a mentor to young mothers has been my most fulfilling role. The years slipped by quickly and now I’m still in touch with some of the younger mothers who now have grown children of their own, and they, in turn, are reaching out to those coming behind them. 

Maya Angelou expressed it best when she said…  

Some of the things I know, I know only because older women have told me their secrets.

I have lived and am living long so that I can tell my secrets to younger women.

That’s the reason we women go on improving.

A note about the author:

Careen Strange is the author of Hello, Young Mothers, an honest and comical look at the realities of day-to-day motherhood. She and her husband, Burt, have been married 50 years, raised five sons, and are now grandparents to 11 grandchildren. To learn more about Careen and her work with young mothers, visit careenstrange.com.

Despite common statements such as “girls speak earlier than boys” when it comes to developmental milestones, there simply is no proven significant difference between genders.

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Despite this fact, we tend to compare the genders often, with the result that there are many misleading perceptions about differences between the genders. Boys and girls have different body growth patterns, but when it comes to developmental milestones, there really aren’t any variations of consequence. This is why growth charts for girls and boys differ, but when it was time to milestones, girls and boys are lumped together. 

This is a very active area of research, and while may differences are claimed to exist between the sexes, only two differences are backed by reliable science: boys have slightly larger brains than girls , and girls’ brains appear to stop growing 12 years before those of boys during adolescence. Most differences commonly cited, for example, that girls speak earlier than boys, or that boys are better at visual spatial tasks, develop as a result of experives during the first years, not because of intrinsic skills. For example, girls are often described as more emotional than boys, but numerous studies show that parents speak about emotions earlier and more often with girls than with boys, thus most likely laying down a foundation of greater emotional expressivity and sensitivity towards others. 

So What?

Boys and girls from the first days are essentially hard-wired in a similar way, and differences seem to emerge as a result of parental and cultural influences. Our choices, deliberate as well as subconscious, may strengthen stereotypes and confer lie-along advantages as well as disadvantages.

Because children’s minds and behaviors are especially sensitive to our influence during the preschool years, thinking and acting carefully with respect to play choices, gender-neutral language, and social situations can help to create an environment less shaped by the biases of gender stereotypes. 

A note about the author:

Dr. Randa Grob-Zakhary, MD Ph.D. is the Founder of The Babyboost Institute for Early Learning and Development. Want more tips?  Purchase Babyboost: 50 Critical Facts on Amazon.